Because what I wanted was to lose weight and keep it off, I stopped dieting over 10 years ago.
If memory serves, I lost about half of what I wanted to lose in 8 months or so, then was *stuck* at the same weight for about 5 years.
(I probably don’t have to tell you that my memory is crystal on that.)
Once I met up with My Very Good Reasons, I unstuck the rest in a matter of months.
(Because it’s my pleasure. I wonder if you can ever know how much.)
If Thin is going to mean trouble, you’re not going to go setting yourself up for it.
When you’re looking ahead to what life will be like for you in your naturally slim body, you might also be anticipating the pressure that is headed your way.
And the problems that you are effectively heading off at the pass, at least for as long as you stay stuck.
“Oh for God’s sake. What pressure and problems. It’s going to be great. It’s what I’ve been working so hard and waiting all this time for. Why would I do anything to screw this up and get in the way of my happiness.”
If you’ve ever lost weight, then gained it back plus some, or have lost some of what you wanted to lose, but the rest just won’t budge, you have lived in the why.
The why has nothing to do with willpower.
In fact, what makes sense to you will get done… what aligns with what is important to you, you will do.
(For more proof, please see your notes under Every Single Thing That You Have Accomplished.)
All that you have done is because there was more upside than downside to doing it.
But.
Your being thin can muck up your being happy.
As my esteemed Life Coach Tim Brownson at A Daring Adventure puts it…” As human beings we never self-sabotage and I defy you to give me a single contrary example.”
I understand that you may have made a list of all of the advantages that being at your naturally thin will afford you.
(I could heat my house for at least one month with the “Remember Remember Please Remember Karen This Is Why You Want to Be Thin” lists I’ve made.)
While those lists can be useful for more than kindling, if you’ve made a list like that, and you’re not getting the results that you were hoping that list would help you “stay on track” to get, it’s because the list that is really running things is overriding it… a list that goes largely unspoken and hardly ever written.
If what you want is to lose weight and never find it again, the list you want to make is the one that details your thoughts on how you will be disadvantaged once you reach your goal.
Ironically and paradoxically, once you make this list and give it the respect it is due, it is the list that you will find en-lightening.
Get it down on paper, and then you can examine Your Very Good Reasons in its cryptonite…the light.
Until you do, this list – your prevailing wisdom – will reign supreme.
Not sure where to begin in making a list like this? Here’s part of the one I made…
It is not in my best interest to be in my naturally thin. These are the disadvantages:
I won’t be able to eat when I’m anxious.
I won’t be able to eat when I’m bored.
I won’t be able to eat when I’m uncomfortable.
I won’t be able to eat when I’m nervous.
I won’t be able to eat when I’m angry.
I won’t be able to use food to distract myself.
I won’t be able to use food to procrastinate.
I won’t be able to eat as much as I want to eat.
I’m expecting to happy when I’m thin. And I’d better be happy, because I won’t be able to eat when I’m not.
After you make your list, come talk to me in the comments about what kinds of feelings you’re feeling about having it out in the open.
And as always, if you’re pretty sure you’re not the only one who wants to eff her diet, please pass this along. Many diet crushing thanks!
Photo credit: click from morguefile.com
Facebook
Twitter
RSS
I LOVE this!! I think I would be greatly served, at this point in my journey to make such a list. Thank you!
That point can be the sticking one, can’t it, unless we appreciate why we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thanks so much for your feedback, and you know I’d love to hear how things work out with your list,
KP
I love your writing!! So inspirational. Thank you!!!
Thanks so much for letting me know, ACQ!!
It’s a #$%^ relief to get this list out in the open! So immediately relieving I can see why the weighting game would be over.
Since I’ve gained and lost the weight a “few” times over the years, I know for a fact it won’t make me happy. So why was that still on the list?
No more. It’s over and done. I am on the train. Blow that effin whistle!
xoS
“So immediately relieving” nails exactly how I felt when I wrote my list.
You’re blowing that whistle pretty loudly, xoS! Thank you!!
xoK
Whoooooaaaaa, I followed KAnderson over here from Facebook – and I’m gobsmacked…you’ve really HAVE been there, haven’t you!! The list you wrote sounds like what I would have written. This is so refreshing ….my mental wheels are spinning now.
Gobsmacked. What a great word. Can you imagine – sounds like you may be able to -this was an abbreviated list. Glad to meet you, Cathy, thanks for the feedback!
My list:
-I won’t be able to anticipate the rush of handfuls of sugar into my system,
-I’ll need to let go of the seconds-long feeling of bliss before the self-hatred sets in.
-I won’t be able to eat things just because they’re there.
-I won’t be able to eat because I feel obligated to.
-I’ll need to fill my time with something besides trying to change myself.
-I’ll need to accept that my life might be just perfect the way it is.Right now.
-I won’t be able to distract myself from my real issues by worrying about what I’m going to eat or what my body looks like.
Karen, I will have you know that this post has been eating away at me since the day you published it. Dammit.
I keep going over my list in my head…. (I won’t be able to eat when I’m bored or any other emotional reason -which I have realized now is the BIGGEST reason I eat.. and eat.. and eat; I won’t be able to eat the portions to which I’ve grown accustomed; I won’t be able to eat the high fat/high sugar JUNK that I am always craving; I’ll have to worry about being looked at again.. soooo much easier to hide with an extra 20+ pounds on me -and this one scares the shit out of me; I’ll be stuck with rabbit food; i’ll have to give up my soda’s; I’ll have to actually learn how to dress decently without the excuse of the extra weight)
HOLY SHIT.. it’s no wonder I keep “losing this battle” over and over.
Sigh.
Dear Angel,
1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9.
Based on your comment, that’s the number I’m coming up with when I count how many reasons you have to trust yourself when it comes to you making your way out of the weigh-in.
(But that’s it, just the 9.)
KP
I know this is an old post, but I found your site 2 days ago and am…inhaling…it.
Here are the biggies on my list:
-I will have to let go of diets forever
-I will have to be ok letting others talk about their diets without me feeling guilty
-I will have to wait for hunger
-I will have to let food on my plate
-I will have to say “no”
-I will have to accept that I AM one of “those people”
-I will have to allow myself pleasure in eating again
-I will have to accept that others will be uncomfortable, and that it’s ok for me to be comfortable
-Others will scrutinize my food choices
-Dieting and thinking about dieting will no longer take up most of my thoughts
-I will have to find things to enjoy
-I won’t have an answer when people ask how I stay so slim
LOVE THIS SITE!! THANK-YOU!!!!!
Oh it’s MY pleasure!! I went over to your site before I even got to my response here because of how specific you were with your list, your candor and the respect you have for your reasons… I really wanted to meet you. And then wow, I saw that you said wrote a whole post asserting that diets suck and you don’t! It’s a wonder I’m not checking my site for fingerprints so I can find you and hug you in person. Loved the way you backed yourself up with proof. Gets me every time. Sounds like you really get you.
Wonderful to meet you, thanks for letting me know you’re here!
I should be working! But I can’t! I just have to keep reading your posts!
You’ve hooked me because this all makes sense.
Finally!
But the list, oh the list. I’m struggling.
I know the reasons why I started to eat to begin with, but not the reasons why I need to keep eating now. All I know is they must be there, because I do. Keep eating.
My poking about found these : -
- I won’t have something to do when I’m bored (a recent new emotional eating reason)
- I will have to get off the “oh me toooo” train all my friends are on with their diets
- I don’t trust my body to know how to do this
- I will feel like I am missing out
- Everyone will comment on how little I am (I’m short too)
- People will tell me I don’t want to be TOO skinny (had this when I lost a lot of weight)
There are more, I know there has to be. And these ones didn’t feel like they were strong enough to divert my supposed will power to lose weight but I guess they always have.
This site is messing with my head but I’m loving every moment of it!
-
Your List!! Welcome, Rachael’s List, to the light of her day! Great point you’re making about it doesn’t seem like the List would have the ability to divert, yet it is doing just that. When you sent out your Not So Fast There Slim Memo, the keepers of your List started working diligently to support your desires. Whenever you feel like you must eat when you’re not hungry, it’s the keepers of your List encouraging you to respect your wishes. Which is exactly why you can be trusted when you’re eating when you’re not hungry… you are acting in your best interests.
Great to have you, and your List, here!