Unfortunately for the husband and our sex life, how we do anything is how we do everything.
You may know my story…over 9 years ago I lost 40+ pounds-and haven’t seen them or the diets they rode in on since, because I decided that I was going to eat whatever I wanted, however much of it I wanted, hungry OR not.
Since I was thinking more about food and eating more of it and gaining more weight by dieting – which no matter which one I was currently on consisted of telling myself that I could only eat a certain amount of certain foods at certain times – I thought, you already know where I’m going with this, don’t you,
Then don’t do that. You’re right.
So I did what made sense based on how I got where I was, and I went back the way I came. In the opposite direction of dieting, which is… not. And ended up where I would have been had I never dieted in the first place.
And what does any of this have to do with my sex life? I guess you know by now.
My husband has made it clear I can have as much as I want, whenever I want it!
And you know how I am.
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Rock on! Love it.
Nice to have you here, Maribeth; I appreciate your kind words!
And… has that worked for you? I’ll tell you. That gorgeous husband of yours? Who could ever turn him down!?
Cheers!
haha! I consider him quite the buffet-and I passed along your compliments to the chef.
Which brings me to the answer to your excellent question…it’s not that he’s “asking for it” and “not getting any”, but that he’s convinced me that he’s always available, and so for me, when I know I can have something – or someone – I love, whenever I want it/him…
Scarcity of what we feel we want or need whets our appetite for it. My hubby has said that he knows that if he ever wants to change the dynamic, all he has to do is to tell me he’s putting me on a him diet. Maybe he could say “no him after 7pm.” After all, when I implemented that “new,great” diet rule – I immediately thought about getting as much as I could before then! haha!
This reminds me of when I was on maternity leave, I had (at least verbally) been told I had the choice of staying home with the kids instead of going back to work. Now for me staying home was NOT an option because I wanted to work, but it was nice to know that the option was available to me to stay home. That was all I needed.
It is funny how we react when we think we are “deprived” of something, we want it all the more.
Thanks Karen!
You’re so right, and of course you would be reminding me of the SATC episode, the one where Carrie says “that’s the funny thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don’t need them anymore.”
Thanks for coming over…love having you here!