Yes you can. Very soon! To: my dear Effindieters who want to eat what they want and not eat what they don’t want and have their pants just fit. Your DIY guide is coming in the spring of 2012. You can get comfortable that “I’m not hungry” is a good enough reason to wait to [...]
36 Diet Crushing Truths About You
I stopped dieting when I was 36 years old, and started making my way back to the body I would have been in had I never gone on that first (second… third… tenth….eleventh….) one. What follows are 36 truths that I’ve come to understand in the years since then. I’m grateful to the women with [...]
Pop Quiz
You cannot be surprised to see me again. You know how much I like to think about you. (In case this is becoming an issue for you, I guess now would be a good time to tell you this.) At his expense Carl at PD Planet has recently explained to me just how great thinking [...]
Exercise = Weight Loss. Not.
Let’s say I’ve come to you desperate to lose weight, but I want you to guarantee that I can do it without moving even one tiny little bit of a muscle. I hope you wouldn’t lie to me and tell me it would be impossible. Or even difficult. I hope you’d tell me that I [...]
Your Legendary Advice
You haven’t agreed that I can ring you up for marital advice, but can we imagine, for a moment, that you have. Let me preface this by saying I HAVE ALREADY TRIED BEING NICE, and nothing has changed. I’m frustrated with some things my husband does that I don’t like, so my plan is to [...]
Would You Swallow This Happy Pill?
Photo credit: jeltovski from morguefile.comp> (Part 1 of 4) If you’re waiting until you are thin to be happy with your body, having to actually be in your body in the meantime, can suck. And although you wish it was possible, any effort to accept yourself, let alone be happy with yourself “in the meantime,” [...]
The Case for Mindful Eating and Ultra-Thin Condoms
photo credit: MShade You don’t close your eyes when you’re reading. You don’t put your hands over your ears when you’re listening to music. When you want to stop and smell the roses, you don’t run by them holding your nose. And when you want the closest thing you can get to natural, you don’t [...]
Who’s Riding Who?
photo credit: blmurch (Part 2 of 4) We’ve been talking for a little bit around here about the connection between being thin and being *happy. (Considering how you really feel about the connection, I can’t imagine that you will find this particular conversation interesting for that much longer, but maybe you’ll humor me.) The reality [...]
You’re On SOMEthing…How To Up The Dose
(Part 3 of 4) (Ahhh, my favorite thing, talking about the beauty of you. And your Alreadiness.) Yesterday, I told you that no matter what you’ve been telling yourself, the truth about you is that you’re not waiting until you’re thin to be *happy. That if you have been waiting, you’ve got a funny way [...]
This Ain’t Your First Rodeo
My dear friend Lois asked me a question over on Effindiets’ diet crushing Facebook page, and inspired a post… “Question for you Karen! How does one survive Halloween with all the candy around? How can I make an apple look more appealing to eat instead of a Snickers bar? I’m not so worried about the [...]
Body Hatred: A Love Story
(Part 4 of 4… picking up our “waiting to be thin to be happy” conversation. If you’d like, you can get Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3, here.) My clients usually book a diet crushing adventure cruise with me because they are tired of dieting, tired of being themselves, and tired of [...]
“Don’t Think Of Pink Elephants”
Telling yourself “don’t eat that” works as well as telling yourself “don’t think of pink elephants” does. If you feel like you rarely wait until you are hungry to eat, and it is something that you wish that you could do more often, and you’ve tried telling yourself (more times than you want to think [...]
Want To Lose Weight? Stop Eating These Apples
My forte – before I started effindiets – used to be telling stories with miserable plots and unhappy endings about food and me. “I’m always eating look how much I’m eating I’ll never stop eating I can never get enough I always want more I’m powerless around food.” As you can imagine – and may [...]
How To Take Inaction, And Get What You Want
When you’re in the mood for something really sticky… “Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” Qui-Gon to Anakin, Star Wars Episode I. “We become what we think about most of the time.” Brian Tracy. I used to say to myself “my problem is I eat when I’m not hungry.” Hearing that, I’ll bet Qui-Gon, [...]
Honest, Abe? A Seemingly Uncivil War
Tried yelling at your inner critic to get her to stop yelling at you? Tired of her restless pacing in your mind, of feeling like she lives to pounce on your every *misstep*? Write a positively presidential letter to your inner critic. “The best way to rid yourself of an enemy, is to befriend him.” [...]
Re-Upping
If you had invested in a company, and it grew and grew your money, and then lost it all, they’d have a hard time convincing you to re-invest based on how well the investment worked, before it didn’t. Diets work, before they don’t. You, on the other hand, have an excellent track record… (Which helps [...]
It Depends Where You’re At
The game’s almost over, you’re $3000 behind Rita, the player in the lead. Your turn. “I’ll take ‘Parts of Speech’ for $2,000, Alex.” Dingdingdingding! “Double!! Jeopardy!!!” “Alrighty, for $4000.” “FREEDOM” and “SLAVERY.” You buzz in immediately. (Tasting your sweet victory.) ”What are ANTONYMS, Alex.” “Ooooh, I’m sorry. Rita?” (Most assuredly.) “What are SYNONYMS.” “That’s absolutely right, [...]
Diets Don’t Work For You? Let Us Rejoice.
Going in, they knew that your kind was going to be a problem, and so they prepared as best they could. Shackles, whips, overseers. Scales, treadmills, food logs. They were keenly aware of the risks of letting their guard down around you. Sometimes they’d dream of waking up to you leaping off of your pallet [...]
Want to Crush Your Diet? Take A Look At This Baby.
Ever since her conception, Effindiets has had a dedicated, diet crushing mama in me. (And my gratitude for my numerous partners in her conception.) But really, I’m her surrogate mama. In case you’re wondering about the wonderful and patient people who helped me deliver your Effindiets to you… That beyootiful and firey head-er on her [...]
Because It’s Only Fair You Know
Let’s say you’ve decided that you and I are about to make your move off the diet plantation. What will you wish you had known about me before we started crushing your diet? I don’t like working with people who wish they could just change themselves. The reason is because it’s bad (very) for some [...]
“Not So Fast There, Slim…”
Because what I wanted was to lose weight and keep it off, I stopped dieting over 10 years ago. If memory serves, I lost about half of what I wanted to lose in 8 months or so, then was *stuck* at the same weight for about 5 years. (I probably don’t have to tell you that [...]
In What You Might Call A Sick Relationship
“Let’s go. Take every stitch off. You know it’s for your own good.” Yes, of course it was. “You know there’s no way around it, you and I are meant to be together.” Of course we were. So every day, I’d strip and present myself. Then I’d hold my breath and my life. Hopingprayinghoping. Waiting [...]
Wherein Kylie Writes Here, And Forces My Hand
The purpose of this post is to fix the big problem *someone* recently caused for me when they commented on a post. A preface… I don’t know that I’ll ever get used to the talent my diet crushing clients have for irritating me, but I have resigned myself that they are going to do it, [...]
(Yet Another) Diet Crushing Truth About You
Oh, hi there! I was just thinking about you. (Yes again. It’s no secret that I have a fondness for fabulous.) You know that I often think about things that come naturally to you, and that I like to talk about these things with you, just in case you haven’t used what comes naturally to [...]
Stop Trying To Accept Yourself
You’ve probably heard that accepting yourself is the key to change. If you really want to change, you’ll cross “accept myself” right off your to do list. Maybe you haven’t actually accepted yourself yet, but you are “trying to accept yourself” or “working on” accepting yourself. That’s got some special drawbacks. That you have to [...]
Does Diet Crushing Work? A Client’s Adventure, In Her Own Words
I recently read a compelling excerpt to a new book, A Course in Weight Loss, by Marianne Williamson. A big thank you to Marianne, whose outlandish and egregious point of view in this excerpt compelled me to start a new series here on Effindiets. Because of what she said, and how emphatically and resolutely she [...]
It’s Not Just That Diets Don’t Work, It’s How Well You DO
It’s Not Just That Diets Don’t Work, It’s How Well You DO (aka Baby You Were Born This Way) If you are dieting, you are getting further and further away from ending up at comfortable in your own skin. The good news is that as soon as you understand that there is nothing that you [...]
As Is Your Usual, You Are Not The Problem (No Matter What You Think)
If you want to lose weight, and you think that your *problem* is that you have trouble delaying gratification, here’s some really good news on that front. You’re wrong. Very. (Yes. I’m shouting.) The problem is not a matter of willpower. (You have plenty of that.) When something makes sense to you… when an action [...]
What Will You Say Your Last Diet, Ever, Was?
“Diet crushing is fun. Dieting is the opposite of fun.” Deanna Lohnes Just when I thought I couldn’t appreciate Deanna’s generosity enough, she’s agreed to join me for a live Q&A! For those of you who have been following Deanna on her adventures in undieting, you know that you can count on her for her [...]
Dieting… Women’s Work
“My mom was always dieting. It was a way to bond. Dieting was also virtuous and had a calling almost as admirable as missionary work, or being called to be a nun. I’m exaggerating but not really. It was a womanly bonding ritual to look a certain way, and to wear a certain style of [...]
How to UnBinge
shitshitshitshitshit The morning after a binge you wake up to your Just-How-Stupid-Can-You-Be-Again laying into you. You’re so disappointed in just how quickly you can send things all to hell… so confused by how you can do so much damage in so little time. (And so often.) Sick about how very [...]
FW: Team Diet Crusher Memo Board
Next Diet Crushing practice: Tuesday April 26 and Thursday April 28 on our Effindiets Facebook field. Required gear: Your body and its signals. (Of course, my dear Fab Four Ashley Inzer, Deanna Lohnes, Linda Eaves, and Sandi Faviell Amorim, I don’t want any of you to show up.) Your showing up has resulted in us [...]
Hey There Diet Crushing Curious!
Freedom from diets and all the crap that comes with them is ringing, but not loudly enough for everyone who wants to hear it, to hear it, and that’s not right. Far too many women live with a uncontested certainty in their hearts that they cannot be trusted, that they can’t have, that they are [...]
Food Court Transcripts…She Doesn’t Do It. Again.
The record will reflect that there’s no getting away from what you will do when left to your own devices. What follows is a partial transcript from proceeding’s from yesterday’s Effindiets Food Court, perpetrator LaVonne Ellis. These are just the things LaVonne got caught doing. (We all know that when someone gets caught doing something [...]
How To Stop Emotional Eating When You’ve Tried Everything
Just got a question via e-mail that was tops on my list of questions when I was crushing my own diet. I’m sharing the writer’s question and my response here because I know she and I, and every woman I’ve worked with, aren’t the only ones to wonder how you get on the other side [...]
Top 10 Reasons To Eat When You’re Not Hungry
You’ve got ‘em. Let’s hear ‘em. If not for you, for me. You may already have heard or seen that things haven’t been going that well for me ever since I opened up new spots on Team Diet Crusher. (Truth be told, things weren’t going that well with the Original Team Diet Crusher, the Fab [...]
Our So-Called Bad Habits
How do you identify something that you think is a good idea? If you’re repeatedly doing something, it’s because you think it’s a good idea. (No matter how much you’re telling yourself that it’s a bad idea, or that you should stop.) You can repeat the definition of insanity – “doing the same thing over [...]
When You Didn’t Want To Eat That, Buuut…
I have a standing rule. (This is a written rule, because the pen is the tool that we use in diet crushing to reveal the masterpiece that is already there.) The rule is… “Because my experience has been that eating when I’m not hungry is the only way that I have effectively supported my emotional [...]
Your Sweet Spot
Do you know the pleasure of your “I’m hungry” sweet spot? That’s the spot where you’re noticeably hungry and looking forward to eating, but not so hungry that you aren’t feeling your options. Getting too hungry is like when you’re driving your car and your fuel gauge falls to under “Empty”. All you can think about [...]
Words That Can Weigh You Down
If you want to build your emotional muscle, be careful when you’re lifting “I have to”, “I need to”, “I can’t.” They cause undue strain (and you often don’t get the results you’re looking for.) “I have to lose weight.” ”I need to exercise.” “I can’t stop eating when I’m not hungry.” It’s as if [...]
If You Call Yourself An Emotional Eater, You’re Always At Your Ideal Weight
If you call yourself an emotional eater, you may or may not be at your natural weight, but whatever you weigh, you’re at your ideal weight. Your natural weight is predestined. It’s the size and shape that you were born to be. It’s also the weight that you would be maintaining if not for the repetitive [...]
I Love You, Now Change
Imagine someone you’re in an intimate relationship saying each of the following to you… “I want you to change.” “I’m trying to accept you. (Because as hard as you’ve tried, I guess you’re not going to change.”) “I accept you, just the way you are.” “I treasure you.” “If I could have designed you, I [...]
4 Surprise Benefits Of Diet Crushing
The following is a guest post from Maureen Carruthers, one of the fabulous and inspiring women I’ve had the pleasure of crushing on. I joined team diet crusher for the obvious reason: I wanted to lose weight. History had proven that while weight loss was a goal, I evidently didn’t want to lose it bad [...]
What You Wouldn’t Do. It’s Important.
We know what you wouldn’t do if you were in this situation. You go to your doctor to talk to her about how to relieve stress. She writes you a prescription for a chewable pill that not only tastes great going down, but also has you feeling better as you chew it. She mentions that [...]
On Making Good Choices
If you call yourself an emotional eater, there’s an uncomfortable feeling that comes over you when you tell yourself this… “today, I’m only going to make good choices.” (And by that you mean, “Self, today I’m only going to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied and eat an amount that is right-sized [...]
Is It A Date?
If you call yourself an emotional eater, and you want to lose weight, and you’re frustrated with how often or how much you find yourself eating when you’re not physically hungry, here’s a scenario that you’ll want to explore. You find out that tomorrow you’re going to wake up at your natural weight, if today [...]
When Does Emotional Eating Make Sense?
Every bite of emotional eating makes sense. If you’re struggling to understand why you would keep eating when “you’re not hungry you’ve had enough you should know better”, hear yourself out… “It would bother me if I didn’t eat when I’m feeling (insert emotion that gets you thinking about eating.) My objections to waiting until [...]
A Look Into A Diet Crusher’s Wordrobe
Have you ever tried on an “I get to”? The next time you’re hungry, either physically or emotionally, think about what you want to eat, and how much of it you want, and then imagine your body saying “I get to eat (xyz)” and “I get to eat (this much of it.)” What is your body’s [...]
Emotional Eating Can Feel Like…
… you’re sacrificing the good of your body for the good of your mind. Like you’re bandaging a wound as you cut deeper into it. Like you’re making things better as you simultaneously make things worse. At issue is that you’re feeling like you’re deciding whose needs are more important… yours, or yours. What does crushing [...]
How To Make Your Calories Effin Count
Diet crushing is the you’re fine! art of eating what you want, when you want it (“want” being the diet crushing operative word) and having your pants fit. That might be giving you the impression that there’s no place in diet crushing for counting calories. My bad. Here’s how we effin count calories around here. [...]
Diets Suck, But Emotional Eating? Umm… Not So Much.
Some food for thought… Aside from it being for a part you’re going to play in a blockbuster movie (and even then you might have a problem with it) is there an amount of money that someone could pay you to gain weight? Is there an amount of money that someone could pay you to [...]
How To Take A Bite Out Of A Binge
You know that feeling that you really really want to eat something, and at the same time you really really wish you didn’t want to eat that something? You wish that eat NOW feeling would go away without you also having the sense that you’re going to have to eat the kitchen before it does. [...]
Emotional Eater Empty Nest Syndrome
I heard somewhere that a benefit of the *terrible teenage years* is that parents are better equipped to handle it when their Not-So-Little-Anymores leave the nest. That without some discord in the relationship, the parents would be beyond bereft. Does your emotional eater (let’s call her Juaneata) give you enough trouble that you’re ok with [...]
The UnFood Log… Because You Are What You Don’t Eat, Too.
Why do we keep track of all of the food that we ate that we feel like we “shouldn’t have” when we know that what we focus on, we get more of? The stuff we write down in those Food Logs holds us back. Makes us feel like we need to be saved from ourselves. [...]
The Bargaining Table
Emotional eating and oftentimes its by-products can be a form of negotiation. “If I eat, then this bad thing won’t happen.” “If I gain weight, then I’ll be safe.” “If I stay this weight, then I’ll get this.” So. What are you bargaining for that you want? And why aren’t you doing more of emotional [...]
Hungry or Not, Eating Is Survival. And A Tip For What You Can Do About That.
Oftentimes we eat even though we’re not hungry because of the feelings – both good and bad – that we anticipate are headed our way as a result. Even when we can sense that we’re not going to like (for the how manyth time) the subsequent cascade of events if we eat when we’re not [...]
The Clothespin Diet
I once did a survey about whether or not people thought they would eat more or less if they couldn’t smell their food. The overwhelming majority responded that they would eat less. “It’s because food tastes so good that I eat so much of it, so not being able to taste my food would be [...]
The #1 Thing That You Need To Fix About You
You’re probably not in the habit of hiring people to do work for you who say to you “I’d love to do that job for you! I feel incompetent at it and the tools that I’m pretty sure I’ll need to do it are broken. Let’s get started!” If your opinion is that you [...]
Get Googobs Of Pennies For Your Thoughts
I’m interested… how long is your list of things that meet the following three criteria? What do you do that you… …do over and over again? …tell yourself over and over again not to do? …do over and over again even once because you think it’s a bad idea for you to do it? And [...]
How To Determine Your Emotional Eating Set Point
You know what to do to lose weight. If you didn’t know what to do, that you’re not doing it wouldn’t bother you nearly as much as it does. What you want is to feel like doing it. Which makes all kind of sense – as is your usual – since the things that we [...]
Emotional eating… such a charmer. Follow me if you want to break its spell on you.
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