Effindiets

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

Ever eat when you’re not hungry and think Please. Just. Make. This. STOP.

Looking for something that can trump Hand to Food to Mouth?

For me and my clients, it’s been Hand to Pen to Paper.

You’d never think you could get such great results from burning so few calories.

Before I started this particular exercise, I’d say my hand to food to mouth went on for about 24 years.

More often than not, from about the age of 12 to the age of 36, I’d eat past the point of being full.

It was also often the case that I’d start eating when I wasn’t hungry.

Which yes, meant that I was often past that full mark before I even started eating, or at least very shortly thereafter.

Tell me…

When you’re not hungry, but you feel like you must eat RIGHT NOW, what are you worried will happen if you don’t?

And trust me.

If you’re eating and you’re not hungry, it is because you are afraid something worse will happen if you don’t eat than if you do.

And we can both trust that you wouldn’t let something bad happen to you.

That’s just one reason why I have an impenetrable faith in you.

I’ll tell you what I worry about – and I know, hey this is my problem – you not hearing your answer.

We’ll get on our way to somewhere really delicious once you know your very good reasons for doing what you do.

So you tell me – on our new age paper here – and we’ll go from there.

Again, not your problem, but I’ll stop worrying about you once I know you know what good hands you’re in.

photo credit: terren in Virginia

Happy Monday!!

(That is, if you’re undieting to lose weight or maintain it.  If you’re dieting, well, good luck with the happy stuff.)

This is for you if you’ve ever said “XYZ” (insert sweets, chips etc…) are my weakness.”

Not true.

(I know you can practically see my face right now, you know how excited I get when we catch you telling an untruth about yourself, because the truth about you is always there, there! right behind it.)

And I LOVE the truth about you.  (But who wouldn’t, you’re fabulous!!)

The truth is you discriminate ALL the time.  You’d be SO much better off admitting that.

Case in point.

It’s a matter of fact that you do NOT like ALL kinds of sweets, chips, but it sure sounds like you do when you say “I’m a chips kind of person.”  ”Sweets are my downfall.”

Much more importantly – as my esteemed Life Coach Tim Brownson at A Daring Adventure would attest – it feels like it’s true.

Your subconscious certainly doesn’t know any different.  It – read “you” – feels like that’s just how you are and how you’re always going to be…

Weighed down with your weaknesses.

The reality is, there’s more than one kind of chip that you don’t like, there’s more than one kind of sweet that you’d hate to be left alone on a dessert island with.

(Oh so now you don’t like funny people either?!  What do you mean, “of course I do, when I see one?!”  Eat me!)

Ok, back to you, just because I’m in such a great mood, it being Undieting Monday and all…

Do yourself – ok – us – a favor (because no matter what I love ya.)

If it’s sweets that you are claiming is your weakness, think of a sweet that you really just cannot stand.  Chips, same thing.  If it’s both, think of the worst in your opinion of each.  And then do this.

• Buy the largest bag you can get of whatever it is. (For me, it was pork rinds and Peppermint Patties.  If those are some of your favorites and you show up here at my house in a thousand years, they will still be here and that will be your lucky day.)
• Put those bags in the cupboard? refrigerator? wherever you keep what you would have previously categorized as your weaknesses.
  • As you do that, let the record reflect…no matter what you’ve told yourself, clearly you’re not a person who would eat anything.
• Get a small – miniature size if you can get it because they take up less than this much space in your brain – of each of your so-not-your weaknesses.
• Put the mini ones in your car or purse.
  • (Since there was much more truth to be had about me – like there is about you – I put a Three Muskateers in the cubbyhole under my dash and a small ziplock bag of Funyuns – all I could fit in the glove box, but one -really-gag-would have been enough.  I could have fit them in the cubby, too, but I usually forget they’re in the glove box, so whenever I open it up and I see them in there, they re-remind me of who I really am AND the day I realized that and they crack me up – they’re Funyuns y’all.  At least as long as I don’t ever eat one.)

Just in case you’re hastening to add… “Well, I’m not a Three Muskateers person, but I am a Snickers person…”

I used to say that, too, until I realized – more truth – that I’ve never bought a store out of all of their Snickers (not even on multiple visits.)

Now, even though I know the truth about you, I’d love to hear it from you, since as fabulous as I know for sure you are…

The thing about truth is that in order for it to set you free, you have to tell it.

What are you going to put in your cupboard, or in your refrigerator?  Same or different from what’s going in your car or purse?

What would you never eat not in a million years?

Whatever it is, the reality is that you can’t escape is that there is SO much that you won’t eat…no matter what.

That’s just how you are, and how you are always going to be.

How does that label make you feel?

photo credit: ~ggvic~

Yes, you’re on my mind again.  I imagine by now you’re learning to live with it.

(I guess what else can you do, especially if you’ve heard the news that I’ve gotten my “President of Your Fan Club” cards printed up.)

OK maybe that was a little presumptuous of me. But, just a little.

(If you can think of a better way for me to associate myself with greatness, let me know.  Until then why don’t we just let me do my job.)

Anyway, I think you realize that you’re going to have to take some ownership for me for being fascinated by you.

What with you being magical and all.

OK I’ll just say it, and then guess what, you’ll be thankful I’m around to deal with crowd control.

You can make thoughts disappear with your But.

Well, now that it’s out in the open, let’s all stand back and give you some room to do your freakishly amazing thing right here…

If only someone was betting me big money that you could do this.

(Don’t bother getting all excited.  Me rolling in it would only mean to me that I would have more time to spend on you, not less.  Now that’s exciting!)

Ready?

I‘ll say something…

“I love you.”

“You got a lot of answers right on the test.”

“Of course I want to spend time with you this weekend.”

Then you put your extraordinary power of your but into it.

“I love you.” BUT

“You got a lot of answers right on the test.”  BUT

“Of course I want to spend time with you this weekend.” BUT

Voila!

With a wave of your magic but, all that came before it…POOF! disappeared…

“I want to lose weight, BUT

I can’t stop eating when I’m upset.”

“I wish I could stop dieting, BUT

I don’t trust myself.”

“It would be great to order what I like, BUT

I won’t be able to stop eating it.”

Whoa.  Check you OUT!

Your But is so powerful that it can make what comes before it disappear AND make what comes after it reverberate.

In fact, it’s the only thing we can focus on.

Which is fantastic trick!! because you know we get what we focus on!!

Oh.

Uh to the effin oh.

Unless.

You use your powers for good…

to write your ass off.

(A huge thank you to my wonderful clients for allowing me to use excerpts from their Effa Diet journals.)

photo credit: mezone

“I was so anxious I ate an entire bag of chips BUT

I didn’t eat the ice cream and I could have.

“I didn’t want to feel left out of the fun at the party so I ordered dessert.  I wasn’t hungry so I was kicking myself, BUT

I chose what I really wanted, enjoyed it and I left some.”

(The lovely client who read this to me had told me when we started working together that her ordering dessert=her eating it all.

You can imagine how she felt to observe and note “left some” for her permanent record.

And then this, as she continued to but into her business… )

“I was at my sister’s for dinner, it was chaos with all of us and the kids.  I didn’t taste much of my dinner and had been looking forward to my mom’s famous cheesecake BUT

I wasn’t hungry so I had  - really tasted – a bite, and wrapped the rest for home.

The best part was that I could have eaten more, BUT

*I DID NOT WANT MORE.

(*She didn’t write that last sentence in all caps, but I didn’t know how else to convey her shock and awe.  What a great moment.)

But who am I telling?

I think we all agree that that last but she wrote, that’s the biggest But of all.   And the one we all want.

So my magical friend, we know you can make your thoughts disappear with your but.

Are you ready to make your butt disappear with your thoughts?

(Don’t worry, you’ll have enough left to get yourself around with. )

Just remember, the bigger the but the better…and these 3 things…

#1 The more consistently you exercise your but, the sooner you will see the results you want.
My effadieters exercise their buts 3-5 times a day, preferably right after eating.

#2 To get the maximum results from your but exercises, you must work it with your fingers.

You already know your ability to recall and use information is better when you write it down; that’s why you go looking for that pen and paper when you really want to remember something.

Some of my clients cross out what came before the but, some erase it, some write what follows the but in larger letters than what came before.

You might use one or all of those, or you might find something else that you love that we’d love to hear about.

However you do it, keep wielding that magic wand of yours and always have that notebook ready, because…

#3  There’s always a but.

Even if today it’s “I ate 100 cookies, but I could have eaten 101.”

Keep writing.  Keep wielding.

You know things about yourself that you don’t know you know, BUT WATCH, and you will see you’ve got the magic touch.  Here and there and everywhere.

And as your biggest fan…

(Remember?! I’ve got the business cards to prove it?)

You know I’d love to hear all about what you’re seeing, too.

No buts about it.

Sure, we all probably know the basic drill.

But just in case there’s something more you could be doing, I’m laying out this checklist based upon the years and years of time I did on the scale.  There is a slight chance that I’ve left something out – you go on enough diets, you lose some of your mind, too, but hey, good for me! it all adds up – and whatever I’ve left out, you’ll let me know in the comments.

It’s gonna take more than a village, ladies.

• Three to four weeks before, donate the maximum amount of blood allowed per day and one kidney.  (It might hurt a little but not as much as the scale can.)
• One day before, restrict all fluids.  (Even though you’ll be doing this, don’t worry, you’ll still be able to work #3.)
• Go to the bathroom.  (Burn some extra calories smiling if you get a 2 with your 1.)  And remember what your mom said.  ”Wipe real good.”  (Good ol’ Mom.  Looking out for you and your dieting-for-the-rest-of-your-life days.)
• Take off all of your clothes.  Check for any stray lint.  On you.
• Remove accessories, including ponytail holders, earrings, hearing aids, fillings…
• Wash face to remove any traces of makeup.
• Take off glasses or remove contacts.  (Don’t worry that you won’t be able to see the number on the scale.  It’s been scientifically proven that a dieter’s eyes automatically widen when the dieter’s feet are on a scale.)
• Shave.  Every hair that you’re willing to be seen in public and private without.  Consider the benefits of a completely hairless look.  There is someone for everyone.
• Exfoliate.
• Squeeze any pimples or blackheads.
• Brush and floss.
• Blow nose.
• Cut any hangnails.
• Remove any nail polish.
• File nails down to the quick.  There is someone for everyone.
• Spit.
• Exhale.

Continue to hold your breath while you step on the scale.

If you don’t like what you see, you can take comfort in the fact that tears count as water weight.

Or.

You could Effa Diet, throw away your scale, and make your way out of the weigh-in.  For good.

Before there’s nothing left of you.

P.S. Many of tips are from the super-secret files of the super-secret weigh-ins I used to conduct on myself when I ran a Nutri-System Center.  (I don’t know how I could forget to tell you my favorite story from those days – which has to do with me being on Weight Watchers while I ran a Nutri-System Center – but if I do, remind me.  You’ll find it hard to believe that it took 10 more years before Effa Diet was born.  Or reborn.)

Who am I telling this to.  You KNOW the best day to start the Effa Diet.

Hells yeah, Monday!

(Well, actually, right now is the best time, but if you want to diet until Monday because it will be the last one you’re planning on being on, do whatcha gotta do.)

Do you want to effa diet, AND get weight loss you just can’t take off?

Then see you on our Effindiets Facebook page on Mondays for your effadieter’s tip of the day.

First up on 7-26-10, something I’m sure you’re alREADY doing that is going to take you where you want to go.

Umm…once you can see it.

In fact, you’re doing it right now. Carry on!

photo credit: alex.shultz

How to Effa Diet.  Behold your key…procrastination.  Who knew?

Have you ever said (yelled) “stop procrastinating!” to yourself?  If you want to lose weight and never find it again, you’ll want to put off saying that.

Correct me where I’m wrong here.

If you want to lose weight, what you want to be able to do is put off eating until you are hungry.  And when you are satisfied, what you want to be able to do is procrastinate about eating more until you are hungry again.

So.  Provided that you can recognize that you are already great at procrastinating, you’ve got this!

Seriously.

You can wait.  You have often enough before.

Procrastinate on the eating when you are not hungry, and let me know what happens.  And doesn’t.

Right away!

Some good news on the weight loss front…

You are never going to get away from yourself.

It’s as true with letting go of weight as it is with anything else…”we become what we think about most of the time.”  (Brian Tracy)

Do you want to get to the point *sometime* in your life where you are a person who does not eat when you are feeling bad?

How does umm…right now sound.

If you are a person who starts eating because you are feeling bad, take Very Careful Note…

You are a person who stops eating when you feel really bad. (Who doesn’t feel worse after the emotional eating than before?)

Would you look at that.

You, a person who is feeling bad -really bad –  and who is NOT eating.

The Key to making this a lasting impression on you is to write down the STOPPING every time you see it, not the starting.

Watch what has already happened.  And then what happens.

When you think about it, the reality is that your not eating when you feel really bad has happened a LOT.

It is going unnoticed, not undone.

What you don’t have to change to get what you want is being drowned out by your insistence that you must.

Actively unchange. (Last time I checked, not changing was pretty easy to get started on and to keep doing.)

Decide what you want to happen, and look for how it already is.  Courtesy of you being you, truly.

Unfortunately for the husband and our sex life, how we do anything is how we do everything.

You may know my story…over 9 years ago I lost 40+ pounds-and haven’t seen them or the diets they rode in on since, because I decided that I was going to eat whatever I wanted, however much of it I wanted, hungry OR not.

Since I was thinking more about food and eating more of it and gaining more weight by dieting – which no matter which one I was currently on consisted of telling myself that I could only eat a certain amount of certain foods at certain times – I thought, you already know where I’m going with this, don’t you,

Then don’t do that. You’re right.

So I did what made sense based on how I got where I was, and I went back the way I came. In the opposite direction of dieting, which is… not. And ended up where I would have been had I never dieted in the first place.

And what does any of this have to do with my sex life? I guess you know by now.

My husband has made it clear I can have as much as I want, whenever I want it!

And you know how I am.